Side Mare Aqua

English? DO NOT GO!

I stayed here in July of this year, and although i had a great time, little of that was contributed by my accommodation. Literally NONE of the staff could speak english, and if they could, if was very broken and confused. On the first morning, the cleaners entered our room at 8am, and when i say cleaners, i mean 7 of them! It was insane! The hotel itsself was lovely and clean, waiters in the restaurant and pool bar were very fast at cleaning plates and glasses away. All signs over the hotel were in German, and during our two week stay here, we were the ONLY english family in both the hotels! None of the entertainment was translated into english, but the male members of the animation team could sure speak english when it came down to flirting with myself and my friend. -.- The same is said for all other staff. Very nosy, flirty and creepy! I rarely saw the waterslides turned on, i think they were on twice a day for half an hour at a time, it was ridiculous. Same goes for the wave pool, which got very very crowded. And i have to make an absolutely disgusting point very clear; near the end of my holiday, in the wavepool, me, my friend and her two cousins notcied human excrement in the bottom of the pool!!!!!! We *tried* to report this to the pool bar, and to reception, but not a single person understood. Suffice to say i never went back in there. I also have to mention that after returning from bars in the early hours of the morning (say around 2 - 3am), Germans were actually reserving sunbeds with their towels. Absolutely unbelievable! The nightclub was only open on saturdays, for an hour, and drinks in there were charged. There was an awful lingering stale sweat/musty smell which never went away in there, too. If you are going out, be warned drinks are quite expensive. I would suggest Brothers bar, Linda's, and Golden Fizz. Very nice staff. In conclusion, i would definitely NOT visit this hotel again, and probably not Side as a matter of fact. (although i have been 4 times before to Kamelya World, which is in an entirely different league to this hole!)